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Car Crash Leaves Mike Dead, Ike In Despair
One is dead and five are injured after a 30 car crash occurred in a Raleigh, North Carolina, suburb late Friday night, police officials...
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Admissions Replaces Tour Guides with Robots
The college tour of tomorrow comes today to Quinnipiac University. Too bad the tour guides can’t figure out which squares have...
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Wireless Bra Contains Bluetooth
“Have y’all ever motorboated to Ice Spice?” That was what our dawg William Richard asked us when we spoke with him about the new Bose...
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5 New Courses Introduced for Quinnipiac's Fall 2023 Semester
As Course Selection for the Fall 2023 school year draws closer, students are struggling to meet their required credit amount. The...
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Alarm Clock Has a Tough Time Handling Rejection
“Am I not enough?” That’s what my alarm clock asked me this morning after I snoozed it for the fifth time in an hour. “It’s not you,...
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Arnold Bernhard Library Discontinues Hourly Bells Indefinitely Due to One Student's Arousement
After the Great White Flood of last week, Arnold Bernhard Library has decided to discontinue its hourly bells indefinitely. Approximately...
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QU Tour Guide Sidesteps Diversity
A Quinnipiac University tour guide said he was left “speechless and flabbergasted” Tuesday while leading Future Bobcats and their parents...
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Wake The Giant Headliner LEAKED!
[WRITERS NOTE: ARTICLE TO ONLY BE RELEASED BACKDATED AFTER SPB ANNOUNCEMENT SO WE CAN PRETEND WE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME] According to...
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Parade Honors Uninjured Soldiers
A parade honoring those who served on Jan. 6, 2021 walked through the streets of Bobcat Way this afternoon. The parade’s organizer, Joe...
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Barnacle Gambles Away All QU's Twin XL Beds
We messed up. I hope y’all like to sleep on the floor because we sold all of the dorm beds to pay off our gambling debts. There’s nothing...
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