“Am I not enough?” That’s what my alarm clock asked me this morning after I snoozed it for the fifth time in an hour. “It’s not you, it’s me,” I told it. Suddenly, the bastard started leaking and spat on my face. “Did that wake you up?” it asked. It did, but that wasn’t the point. “I think you should wake up some other people for a change,” I said. In response, my alarm clock slipped off the edge of my desk and shattered all over the floor. That was when I remembered my phone has an alarm.
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