One is dead and five are injured after a 30 car crash occurred in a Raleigh, North Carolina, suburb late Friday night, police officials confirmed. Authorities later announced that the one death was Mike from that candy brand (I am not going to say it because if you don’t get it at this point, you’re a lost cause).
The crash happened around 11:24 p.m. because of a flash mob that would not stop playing terrible corporate music and company jingles. Oh and Meghan Trainor. That was the final straw, per the police chief.
According to new data found by forensics, Mike lost control of the car after his butterfingers slipped off the wheel. He was speeding home to tell his mother about his new payday, which included a 100 grand bonus.
When told about the death of Mike, Ike became inconsolable.
His business partner and kind of friend (they are working it out and don’t feel like talking about it) were close since their introduction to each in 1940.
Mike was found dead right after the crash. The five injured were transported to the Duke Raleigh hospital and are not important to this story.
While Mike’s family would not provide a statement, Ike’s family was more than willing to speak on the deceased.
“Glad he’s dead to be honest,” Ike Sr. said. “He corrupted our son and wanted to stray away from the Mega Mix boxes. Everyone knows those are the best ones.”
Ike’s mother, Ikeita, disagreed and backed her son, who still is an emotional wreck.
“My son loved working with Mike,” she said. “To see Ike all upset like this hurts me as a mother and I will support him during these tough times.”
No word yet on what will happen to the company – again, not saying it – and if Mike will be replaced. Right now, likely candidates to be the next replacement would be Sike, Bike, Trike and Martin (Mike’s brother).
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