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Plagues Need to Come Back
Plagues, the ultimate form of population control. Sure, the COVID-19 pandemic could have been the most recent “plague” but it still...
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Timothee Chalamet Set to Star in Gritty Live-Action “Pac-Man”
Timothee Chalamet, fresh off his star turn in “Dune”, has been cast in the titular role of Pac in Warner Bros. Discovery’s new...
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Tony Reyes Announces Hamden P.D. Will Place Giant Dome Over Quinnipiac - “Nobody In, Nobody Out”
In his newest attempt to accommodate the Southern Connecticut Gas Company’s construction work, Chief of Public Safety Tony Reyes has...
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I Didn't Get Invited to QU's Annual Cocaine Party and Here's Why
Spring break, everyone leaves campus unless you’re stuck covering a sport. However, do you ever wonder where Quinnipiac University’s...
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Shake Smart Introduces ‘Shake that Ass for Shake Smart’ Contest
Students and perplexed faculty gathered at Quinnipiac University’s newest money-hungry expansion project, the Shake Smart cafe, for its...
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Congress Creates 4th Branch of Government for Sexual Predators
With seemingly endless allegations being made against government officials regarding inappropriate sexual behavior, Congress has been...
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Quinnipiac Athletes Found on Campus, Students Lose Their Minds
In a shocking new study, it has been found that Quinnipiac University athletes have been spotted on Quinnipiac’s Mt. Carmel campus. It...
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Michael B. Jordan Goes to Great Lengths for Statue in Philadelphia
After “Creed III” released in theaters on March 3, actor Michael B. Jordan is not finished portraying Adonis Creed until the city...
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Frat Brother Shares Surprising Things About His Free Time
Being a member of Greek life at Quinnipiac University is no easy task. In order to remain a member in fraternities and sororities,...
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A Roommate Who Collects Dolls: My Column
Ok, so I want to start off the bat by saying I know this is supposed to be a satirical newspaper and all these articles are supposed to...
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