Quinnipiac Athletes Found on Campus, Students Lose Their Minds

In a shocking new study, it has been found that Quinnipiac University athletes have been spotted on Quinnipiac’s Mt. Carmel campus.

It has determined that these athletes, who also dabble as students in their free time, participated in events, such as eating at the dining hall, walking across the Quad and attending class.

Marty McWalk, a first-year industrial revolution major, said that seeing student-athletes walk across the dining hall has been the most confusing thing on campus.

“This is mind-boggling,” McWalk said. “To see these people that go to a mid-major school do such regular things was such a sight to see.”

Another student that expressed similar confusion was Mario Spagherigatonipastangelhair, a junior ‘says he’s vegan, but will sneak a cheeseburger in here and there’ major.

“What in the world is happening here?” Spaherigatonipastangelhair asked. “How dare these stude ... I mean athletes use the campus for anything but their sport?”

It was a fair question to ask, as 73% of all Quinnipiac students believe that athletes do not deserve the same regular amenities as the normal students, even the athletes from the weird sports–you know which ones we are talking about.

“I mean, this is a bench player on the men’s hockey team that I only watched once and now make it my entire college persona to crave this hockey team,” William Madison, a sophomore hotel management major, said. “They should not receive the rest of the stuff the student body gets.”

Quinnipiac administration has begun a plan to separate the athletes from the students, which has received tremendous support on social media. Facilities are started to build yet another quad to let the athletes live on, which will only take five years to build, $500 million to purchase and will be completed when all the current student-athletes have already graduated and retired from their sport.

More information will be announced whenever it is, I don’t know when it will be.