Timothee Chalamet Set to Star in Gritty Live-Action “Pac-Man”

Timothee Chalamet, fresh off his star turn in “Dune”, has been cast in the titular role of Pac in Warner Bros. Discovery’s new live-action “Pac-Man” film.

This gritty and violent retelling of the classic video game story will re-team Chalamet with “Dune” director Denis Villeneuve.

While exact plot details are unknown, the film is rumored to follow Pac living in a drug-filled New York City maze addicted to the newest street drug “dots.” Through his intoxicated and high hallucinations, Pac is haunted by four ghosts of various neon colors while adventuring with the scandalous and mysterious Ms. Pac-Man.

“I cannot wait to really sink my teeth into this complicated, disturbed character of Pac and really show the world what I can do,” Chalamet told The Barnacle exclusively. “I want to explore what a diet of just white dots and fruit does to a man, and why Pac-Man just keeps running.”

Chalamet was chosen after an exhaustive casting process involving auditions, chemistry reads, and a hunger-games-style

battle with Hollywood’s other young white and straight actors. Rumors suggest Chalamet only agreed to join the cast after the studio agreed to remove peaches from Pac-Man’s diet.

Chalamet joins the cast of Judi Dench as Ms. Pac-Man and Pete Davidson, Addison Rae, Jenna Ortega, and John Cena as ghosts Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde respectively. Warner Bros. Discovery hopes to develop different spin-off shows for each ghost on HBO Max.

“If all goes well with this shit, we hope to turn this into a 10, 20, or 30 year cinematic universe with all of the Pac-Man characters,” said Warner Bros. Discover CEO David Zaslav sitting on top of a pile of canceled shows and movies. “Baby Pac-Man, Professor Pac-Man, Jr. Pac-Man, Pac-Mania, let’s bring Frogger into here. I don’t really care we just want anything that sells tickets.”

The film is expected to be rated R for drug abuse, violence, and brief nudity.

Warner Bros. Discovery is giving Villeneuve a $300 million budget and the film is set to have a run time of over three

hours. The studio is positioning the film to be a major box office and awards play.