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MEN’S HOCKEY TEAM REPLACED WITH CROWD-PLEASING INFLATABLE ANIMALS
As of 10 p.m. Monday night, the Quinnipiac Inflatable Animals will be replacing the low-caliber men’s hockey team in an effort to boost...
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Cool Guy Too Cool for Earbuds, Flaunts Bulky Headphones
Citing the pursuit of a sort of coolness found only in white boys from suburbia, cool guy Connor Voss does not wear earbuds in public....
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Three Hour Night Class Leaves Students Alert and Well-Educated
According to twenty-two exhilarated Quinnipiac students, last night’s U.S. History Since Reconstruction class was marked from start to...
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QUAD's Adopt-a-Corpse Goes Off Without a Hitch
Exactly as they planned it, QU After Dark’s latest event resulted in a record amount of dead fish on campus. According to several...
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OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY MAJOR SQUEEZES IN A SHOWER
Sources confirmed that for the first time since classes began, sophomore OT major Abigail Shaffer made time for a shower. “I literally...
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AWKWARD BOY TALKS TO AWKWARD GIRL; HAS NORMAL PERSON CONVERSATION
Following a shocking display of confidence, all onlookers unanimously gasped as that offensively awkward freshman that sits alone in the...
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PUPPY GIVEAWAY KILLS FAMILY OF FOUR
While on their first college tour as Americans, a newly immigrated family of Swedes fell victim to QU After Dark’s most recent and most...
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Student Sounds Coherent in Newspaper Interview
The stars aligned this week when freshman Lillian Ward was accurately quoted in a local newspaper. She reportedly relayed intelligent...
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QUINNIPIAC FACILITIES WORKER RESCUED FROM THE PINE GROVE AFTER SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH THE STATUE
At 8:00 am this morning a University facilities worker was rescued after spending a night in the Pine Grove with the controversial “sex...
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HILARIOUS FOOTBALL T-SHIRT CAUSES FOOT TRAFFIC JAM OUTSIDE OF TATOR HALL
Foot traffic came to a grinding halt outside of Tator Hall on Thursday morning when freshmen Calvin Jones noticed junior Terry Di Fino’s...
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