Sources confirmed that for the first time since classes began, sophomore OT major Abigail Shaffer made time for a shower.
“I literally have eleven labs due every week. I haven’t slept and I haven’t eaten,” Shaffer mumbled to reporters weakly, one arm attached to an IV, the other feverishly writing about Argon.
As she spoke, several communications majors could be seen throwing frisbees to business majors outside on the quad.
“I just wish she could have showered sooner,” added classmate Suzanne Solo panting while jogging to her next lab.. “Four of my pre-med friends contracted the plague from their disgusting habits.”
Shaffer was last seen at 4 a.m., reading in the library. Although she is now clean, friends claim she has not blinked since January.
Unconcerned, Shaffer delineated that as “a problem for another day.”