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Liberal Trump Makes Military Spending Cuts
Earlier this week, former Republican President Trump made a controversial decision to make cuts to the United States military. The 45th...
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Other Groups Trump Plans to Ban
After signing an Executive Order banning immigration to the United States from seven muslim countries, President Donald Trump sat down...
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Republicans Can’t Wait to Discover What Their Core Beliefs Will Be Tomorrow
Every morning, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan goes on a three-mile run, devours a nutrient-filled breakfast, and browses through Twitter...
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RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC TEEN CLAIMS HE DIDN'T GET VIEWS FROM PARENTS
Joe Weiner, 16, told reporters on Wednesday that he is tired of having his views attributed to that of his parents. He further explained...
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TRUMP REVEALED TO BE SNORTING COCAINE BETWEEN MAJOR EVENTS
No technical difficulties, no broken microphones, just the sound of sniffing from Mr. Trump during the disastrous second debate was what...
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WIKILEAKS REVEALS SEX TAPE OF TRUMP AND PUTIN
Muckrakers searching through the recent WikiLeaks emails have found a video of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin “doing the dirty.” Banned...
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UNDECIDED VOTER MAKES DECISION, JUMPS IN FRONT OF TRAIN
New Haven resident Peter Jamison was hospitalized this morning after jumping in front of a moving train at Union Station in response to...
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Masochistic Women Vote for Trump
Exit Poll Results have come in and showed Trump has polled statistically high among masochistic women. Masochistic women are those who...
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Why I'm Voting For The Exclamation Point From "Jeb!"
Attention undecided voters, or voters who hate their candidate, so pretty much all of America. You have experienced the most vicious...
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Tim Kaine's Plan To Defeat ISIS Includes A Heart To Heart Conversation
In the midst of the harshest election season in recent memory, the human embodiment of a box of puppies Tim Kaine has revealed his plan...
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