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SGA CANDIDATE PUTS FACE ON GENERIC MOVIE POSTER TO STAND OUT
Quinnipiac experienced nothing short of a political revolution last week as candidate for VP of Something Important, Steve Sanchez, had...
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BARNACLE RELEASES CHRONICLE HOSTAGES AFTER SUCCESSFUL RAVE AGREEMENT
An inspiring outcome from a disastrous situation: after having its demands met, local radical state The Quinnipiac Barnacle has released...
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Why I'm Voting For The Exclamation Point From "Jeb!"
Attention undecided voters, or voters who hate their candidate, so pretty much all of America. You have experienced the most vicious...
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The Pope Gets A Grindr Account
Pope Francis, who recently joined Instagram, plans to continue his crusade on youth culture. Recently, he saw a screening of Deadpool, in...
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QUINNIPIAC PO BOXES RENOVATED INTO GLORY HOLE OPERATION
This fall, Quinnipiac students came back with several surprises in store for them. The cafeteria received a smoothie station, the ‘U’ in...
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Tim Kaine's Plan To Defeat ISIS Includes A Heart To Heart Conversation
In the midst of the harshest election season in recent memory, the human embodiment of a box of puppies Tim Kaine has revealed his plan...
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GUY WHO QUOTES SPONGEBOB GETS NETFLIX STAND-UP SPECIAL
Stocks rose for Netflix’s market value when that guy who quotes Spongebob too much signed with for a stand-up special. “That’s right,”...
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MAN RELAXING ON QUAD ACTUALLY DEAD
Shocking news today on Quinnipiac’s quad when a dead man was found in the midst of hundreds of relaxing students. “I was laying on the...
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DISNEY ON ICE DISQUALIFIED FROM FROZEN FOUR
After a brutal brawl with Boston College’s hockey team, Disney on Ice has been disqualified from the Frozen Four. The altercation started...
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FILMMAKERS TO TURN THE BIBLE INTO THE NEXT TEEN ROMANCE DYSTOPIAN FRANCHISE
With Harry Potter, Twilight, and The Hunger Games finished, and the majority of people forgetting that Divergent exists, Hollywood has...
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