This fall, Quinnipiac students came back with several surprises in store for them. The cafeteria received a smoothie station, the ‘U’ in university became lower case on the school’s logo, and the mailroom’s PO boxes were repurposed into glory holes.
“We’ve done the research,” says brand director, Paul Nichols. “Nobody uses mail anymore. You know what’s hot with college kids today? Anonymous sex stuff.” His bet seems to have paid off, as lines for the renovated mailroom have stretched all the way to the cafeteria.
“People were a bit wary about it at first. But everyone will get used to it over time,” hopes Nichols. The director made a similar claim after replacing toilet paper with hand dryers, which was met with disastrous results.
“I’m not happy with it. The employee’s arm was too short, it couldn’t reach through the length of the PO box,” complained a student with small feet. Other complaints included that some PO boxes were too high, forcing some to stand on another student’s shoulders to reach it.
“You think they feel uncomfortable, think about how I feel,” said the mailroom’s only employee Dave Fallon. “It’s better than working at the polling institute though.” The Quinnipiac Polling Institute, formerly a survey center, was renovated into a strip club last month.