top of page


ANCESTRY.COM LAUNCHES NEW DATING APP
With the success of sites like eHarmony, match.com and tinder, ancestry.com has also decided to jump on the bandwagon and launch their...


HARRY POTTER FAN JOINS KKK TO BECOME WIZARD
This past Thursday, local Harry Potter fan Karl Marshal joined the KKK not as an advocate for white supremacy, but rather to pursue his...


LOCAL DOG VOICES CONCERN OVER MASTER’S DISAPPEARANCE
According to a local Labradoodle, master James Murphy has been missing for approximately five minutes. Lucy, a three-year-old yellow mix,...


Five Places to Watch Porn During Parent's Weekend
We all know that feeling when parents roll onto campus: where am I going to watch my porn now? Rest easy, the Barnacle has you covered!...


GUY WHO QUOTES SPONGEBOB GETS NETFLIX STAND-UP SPECIAL
Stocks rose for Netflix’s market value when that guy who quotes Spongebob too much signed with for a stand-up special. “That’s right,”...


HOW TO TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE WAS JUST A SUMMER FLING
A new school year means a new start, and now that classes have begun, it is time for you to cut ties with your baggage. That means...


How to Tell Your Boyfriend He Was Just a Summer Fling
A new school year means a new start, and now that classes have begun, it is time for you to cut ties with your baggage. That means...


Freshman Laundry 101
It’s the beginning of your freshman year, and suddenly you realize how awful your clothes smell. How could this be, you ask? You did what...


FETTY WAP MEETS EXPECTATIONS
Word quickly spread of Fetty Wap’s upcoming performance at Wake the Giant, and how expectations for his singing would be mediocre. After...


The Blunt Truth About Injecting Marijuana
It seems no matter how often today’s youths are taught to say no to drugs, they always find a reason to experiment with them. Now teens...
bottom of page