A new school year means a new start, and now that classes have begun, it is time for you to cut ties with your baggage. That means finally telling Josh, Greg, Chris, and Brad what your relationship really was: a way to kill the boredom before going back to college.
Be ready for the subject in question to have a poor reaction at first. It’s common for most summer flings to become confused, annoyed, and gassy after learning the truth about their love status. To help ease them of these symptoms, point out how they really should have seen this coming. After all, you had told him about how your sweet neighbor Marty, the lacrosse player, promised free beer for a blowie. He couldn’t really expect you to turn down an offer of some rare Natty Light.
It’s important to make your summer fling feel validated during this whole ordeal. One way to ensure that is to tell him that the sex was great. Well, not great but still really good! You only imagined he was your cute coworker a third of the time while doing it. Sure, his penis size was below average, but so was his performance, and in a good sex life consistency truly is key.
Breakups are hard for everyone involved, so don’t be afraid to remind him of this while you’re dumping him. Go into detail about the amount of stress this has added to your now busy life.
End the conversation by explaining that you’ll always cherish the time you two spent together. Those nights spent talking about how “totally bangable” your sister is will always hold a special place in your heart. Finally, bid him farewell by promising to keep in touch. Maybe even set up a future date to catch up, sometime a little before February 14th would definitely work nicely for you.