HARRY POTTER FAN JOINS KKK TO BECOME WIZARD

This past Thursday, local Harry Potter fan Karl Marshal joined the KKK not as an advocate for white supremacy, but rather to pursue his dream of becoming a wizard.

“My whole life, all I have ever wanted is to be a wizard,” said the Potter enthusiast, “After a lot of searching the KKK was the only real organization I could find that offers a wizard position.”

Indeed, the highest ranking member of the KKK is known as the Imperial Wizard, a position that Karl is determined to reach no matter what. “At first I was a bit hesitant to join,” he said, “but I soon found that the KKK has many similarities to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Instead of a goblet of fire, they have a cross that’s on fire, and instead of black wizard robes they have white ones.”

Still not everything could feel so familiar to Karl, and he admitted that the KKK did have a few differences from typical magic folk. “The Imperial Wizard looked nothing like I thought he would,” explained the eager fan. “I pictured him having a long flowing beard and a twinkle to his eye, but in reality he turned out to be a white guy with a shaved head and lots of questionable tattoos.”

Despite these differences, Karl is still excited to become a wizard and is looking foreword to what the future holds for him. “Everyday I wake up excited, hoping that this is the day I start to learn magic. So far, we have only practiced non-magic things like picketing and yelling at small children, but I’m sure the training will start any day now.”

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