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Quinnipiac to host 2013 Academy Awards
Today the university announced that the 85th annual Academy Awards will be hosted at the TD Bank Sports Center in Hamden, Connecticut...


JOHN MAGGI DISCOVERED TO BE COLLECTIVELY HELD DELUSION
A recent investigation into student affairs by Residential Life revealed that junior John Maggi does not exist. The investigation...


SPB ANNOUNCES MICHAEL JACKSON’S GHOST AS SPRING CONCERT
Student Programming Board president Lauren Enea announced today that the ghost of pop icon Michael Jackson would be the performer at this...


HOMELESS WQAQ MANAGER LIVING IN STATION FOR WEEKS
An investigation today revealed that sophomore Michael Calandro, Business Manager of WQAQ, has been living out of the school’s radio...


POLLING INSTITUTE ON STRIKE OVER SLAVE-LIKE CONDITIONS
Quinnipiac pollsters went on strike last week amidst overly brutal working conditions at the institute. Student employees have repeatedly...


Student Suffers Existential Breakdown After Waiting 36 Hours For Food
A simple run to the cafeteria turned into a philosophical horror for one student after a 36 hour wait triggered an existential crisis....


THOUSANDS SHOW UP TO QUAD SCREENING OF “MI:III”
Buckman Theater was overrun last Friday night, as thousands show up to the QU After Dark (QUAD) screening of Mission Impossible 3. The...
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