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BATTLE OF THE BANDS ENDS WITH HUNDREDS DEAD
With killer guitar riffs, deadly beats, and manslaughter lyrics, WQAQ’s annual Battle of the Bands ended in tragedy, with hundreds of...


EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND
Despite your repeated statements to the contrary, sources say that everyone knows you’re going to break up with your high school...


SigEp Releases Inspiring Video, Turns Out To Be Hazing
After accidentally uploading the raw footage from their recent inspirational video, it was revealed that SigEp forced their pledges to...


Teacher’s Lesson Plan Clearly Copied From Wikipedia
Despite earning a PhD in psychology, Dr. Carl Jones was recently discovered to have clearly copied his lesson plan on psychoanalysis from...


ENGLISH DEPARTMENT ROASTS LEN ENGEL
After Leonard Engel announced his retirement, the English Department partnered with Comedy Central to host, “The Roast of Len Engel.” Led...


Journalist Suspended For Asking A Question
Last week, a North Korean newspaper suspended a journalist indefinitely for asking a question to Kim Jong-un during the “2015 State of...


Q30 NAMED BEST UNIVERSITY TELEVISION STATION AT QUINNIPIAC
On the recent 12th Annual Quinnipiac Awards show, Q30, the university’s student-run television station, won the award for “Best...


BOOKSTORE TO SELL COMMEMORATIVE HOCKEY TIE TIES
After a series of 2-2 ties against Yale and Brown, respectively, Quinnipiac Men’s Hockey will provide the theme of a series of...


STUDENT GIVES INSPIRING SPEECH TO MADDEN TEAM
After making sure he was the only person in the room, Sophomore Gary Fendleson gave an inspiring speech to his television, intended for...


QUINNIPIAC MAKES ANNUAL VOLUNTARY VIRGIN SACRIFICE TO HAMDEN
On November 18th, as is tradition, Quinnipiac will make its annual virgin sacrifice to the Town of Hamden, under a memorandum of...
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