Despite earning a PhD in psychology, Dr. Carl Jones was recently discovered to have clearly copied his lesson plan on psychoanalysis from Wikipedia.
Jones, a highly paid and respected professor, said he couldn’t find the time to prepare his own lesson plan. “Between binge-watching Daredevil and going to Aunchie’s with my class, there simply wasn’t time for me to tap into my years of learning for a simple lesson plan,” said Jones. “Besides, the Academic Integrity rules only apply to students, not tenured professors.”
Students could tell he plagiarized his lesson plan when Jones said, “Psychoanalysis comprises a method of investigating the mind and interpreting experience, citation needed.” However, most of the student’s didn’t care.
“I always lift a sentence or two in my papers,” said sophomore Julie Reynolds, who has a 3.79 GPA. “I used to think my teachers didn’t know that a sentence was plagiarized, but now it’s clear that they do know, but ignore it. I love this unspoken, special relationship and I think it enriches our community.”
Dr. Jones reportedly does not feel guilty about using Wikipedia as his only source. “Listen, when Jimmy Wales asks for donations, I break out the Discovery card and give Wikipedia five dollars a pop. Most people never give that site a dime, so, yeah, I sleep pretty well at night.”
After the interview, Jones got drunk and edited Freud’s Wikipedia page, writing, “He can Sigmund suck my nuts!” When he sobered up, he forgot about this edit and said the same sentence in class.