After Leonard Engel announced his retirement, the English Department partnered with Comedy Central to host, “The Roast of Len Engel.” Led by roastmaster and Associate Professor of English Timothy Dansdill, all of the faculty members in the English Department, even the lowly adjunct professors, and Jeff Ross told good-natured jokes about Engel to honor his service to Quinnipiac.
“My dear friend Len Engel taught here for over 50 years,” said Dansdill, to the gathered crowd of 10,000. “That’s over five decades or, as his currents students like to say, 30 years too long! I kid, Len. You know you’re a hero to me and I wish you the happiest of retirements—except that you refuse to retire and will keep teaching Faulkner next fall,” said Dansdill. “I hear you will be privately tutoring President Lahey, who is writing a paper on The Sound and the Fury.”
“You’re like a father to me, Len,” said Assistant Professor of English Kim O’Neill. “A creepy father who won’t stop whispering quotes from As I Lay Dying into my ear when I’m not paying attention. All jokes aside, you were a great mentor to me and the entire Quinnipiac community will miss your presence.”
However, it was not just teachers who got to tell jokes. “A lot of people don’t know this, but Professor Engel actually wanted to become a drummer when he was a college student, back in 1845,” said student Minnie Green to rapturous laughter. “I think I speak for all students that took his American Dream course when I say: You made a terrible mistake. But in all seriousness, I hated reading before I took that class and you completely changed my view on literature. You were the greatest teacher I ever had.”
“I tried to fire you, but then I saw that you had tenure,” said John Lahey, via Skype. “That’s all I have to say; please turn off the computer.”
Finally, Len Engel got to say his piece. “Is that the best you motherfuckers got? A couple of jokes about Faulkner and my age? You assholes are weak. I’m over 80 years old and I still take shits stronger than Jason Koo. If this is where the English Department is at, I’m worried…just kidding, guys. I appreciate the kind words and it was an honor to work here for the past five decades.”
We here at The Barnacle would like to pay tribute to Professor Len Engel on a rampaging Ahab of a career, filled with many sightings of his ever elusive “Moby Dick.”