After making sure he was the only person in the room, Sophomore Gary Fendleson gave an inspiring speech to his television, intended for the pixels that make up the video game “Madden 15.” Fendleson, who quit playing football in middle school, wanted to make sure his players realized how important the next game was.
“I turned the difficulty level to All-Pro for this franchise,” said an excited Fendleson. “That’s pretty hard. I was the Cleveland Browns and we were 9-6 going into the last game against the Baltimore Ravens. The winner won the division and made the playoffs, while the loser went home. My guys needed something extra and I knew it had to come from me.”
After watching hours of game tape on the Baltimore Ravens, Fendleson said to his pixels, “We’re as ready as we’ll ever be, boys. Those idiots down in Baltimore think you’re soft and I’m starting to think they’re right. Do you think they’re right?” Fendelson paused for dramatic effect, imagining Johnny Manziel and Joe Haden looking up to him, when, in reality, they were thousands of miles away, oblivious to Fendelson’s existence.
“We can climb out of hell, one inch at a time….That’s football guys,” Fendelson finished, after plagiarizing the main speech from Any Given Sunday. Fendleson, visibly emotional, started crying, only stopping to say, “Let’s go beat those fucking Ravens!”
Gary Fendelson’s pixels beat the Computer’s pixels 33-14, which gave Fendelson fleeting happiness that will soon disappear, leaving him empty and alone.