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Clinton Ranking High Among Politically Indifferent Females
A recent Quinnipiac poll found that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is polling well among politically indifferent females....
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TO ALL MY FORMER ROOMMATES: I’M SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP
Dear Former Roommates, We’ve been through a lot together over the years, and I just wanted to take this time to say, no matter which of...
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POLITICALLY CORRECT RACIST STRUGGLES TO EXPRESS HIMSELF
Politically correct local racist Aaron Heuskin has been struggling to convey his feelings. Given the recent Syrian refugee crisis,...
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I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX NEAR A PORTRAIT OF YOUR BROTHER JOHN
I understand that you miss your family while you’re away at school, but you need to do something about the location of these picture...
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Law Library Successfully Converted Into Former Law Library Museum
Quinnipiac University has finished renovations on the Law Library and will soon be opening the Former Law Library Museum, in the exact...
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BRAVO DEBUTS “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SUBURBIA”
As mandated by their contract, The Real Housewives are adding ten approved spinoff shows to Bravo’s fall lineup, the first of which is...
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First Year Seminar Hopefully Super Easy
We all know QU 101 was a failure. For the new First Year Seminar 101 course, I want to see material Quinnipiac students can benefit from...
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STUDY SHOWS STUDENT’S FAVORITE BAND ISN’T REALLY THE BEATLES
A new study from The Clinical Research Institute of America shows that The Beatles aren’t really freshman Tabitha Buton’s favorite band....
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SINGER DOES IT FOR THE MUSIC, THE ASS
In a recent interview, a local musician revealed her stance on her growing popularity, stating, “I don’t do it for the money–I do it for...
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UNIVERSITY TO ADD MOVE-IN CREW FOR THOSE VOLUNTEERING FOR MOVE-IN CREW
The residence hall committee has agreed to send emails to sophomores, juniors, and seniors living on campus regarding next summer’s plans...
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