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Musician Needs One More Tragedy To Land Record Deal
Musician James Hammond was on the cusp of writing a hit song when he realized a major obstacle many artists face: his life is going too...
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HARRY POTTER FAN JOINS KKK TO BECOME WIZARD
This past Thursday, local Harry Potter fan Karl Marshal joined the KKK not as an advocate for white supremacy, but rather to pursue his...
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Freshman Laundry 101
It’s the beginning of your freshman year, and suddenly you realize how awful your clothes smell. How could this be, you ask? You did what...
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FETTY WAP MEETS EXPECTATIONS
Word quickly spread of Fetty Wap’s upcoming performance at Wake the Giant, and how expectations for his singing would be mediocre. After...
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TALL PERSON DEVELOPS FEAR OF HIS OWN HEIGHT
Freshman Nat Walsh has realized he is now afraid of his own height. Standing at a towering 6’8″, the very prospect of getting up has...
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MAN UPSET WITH RUBBERNECKERS SLOWS DOWN TO STARE DISAPPROVINGLY
While in bumper-to-bumper traffic Tuesday night, local man Jonathan Gallagher took the time to slow down and angrily look at the...
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