Musician James Hammond was on the cusp of writing a hit song when he realized a major obstacle many artists face: his life is going too well. While some musicians are lucky enough to have some horrible aspect of their life that acts as source material, James finds himself with nothing.
“It’s really a struggle as an artist to not have experienced any emotional trauma,” quoted James. “I have a loving family, healthy relationship, and I just paid off my student debt. Literally nothing is holding me back, and for that I reason I feel extremely held back.”
Hammond’s friends and family are very concerned about his ongoing struggle of not struggling and are doing everything they can to help, “I try to be as supportive as I can” said James girlfriend Emily, “but it turns out it’s very difficult when the type of support he needs is severe emotional trauma. I have even tried cheating on him a few times, once with his brother, but sadly nothing seems to be working.”
“It was really sweet of Emily to do all that for me’’ Said Hammond, “and it was great when my brother got involved as well, but all the hard work they put in for me just hasn’t done the trick.”
Not one to be deterred, Hammonds father tried to help his son by hitting him with a car. “I thought running him over might provide the inspiration he needs to get out of this slump.” Said the supportive father, “unfortunately the crash just messed up his back, causing him to develop an actual slump which wasn’t really what I was going for.”
Even in the face of all this adversity Hammond remains optimistic that a sever tragedy is still coming his way, “good things come to those who wait” said James, “and I’m sure if I work hard, ill find a way to become emotionally unstable enough to write something I’m really proud of.”