A formal statement from the Office of Financial Aid announced that tuition hikes will decrease by a record of 10% from last semester, bringing down the expected rise in cost from $3300 to $2970 for the fall semester. This additional expense was reported as “necessary, but fair,” according to financial aid officers. One anonymous officer shared her thoughts on the matter.
“We’ve been working really hard trying to keep expenses from going down, but this year was a hard bargain,” said the officer through a voice modulator. “We tried giving away free hockey shirts and billed them through our budget, but that still put students on par with the tuition inflation from last semester. Then we tried hiring students to damage school property in the residence halls, but they were already doing that for free.”
Many students reacted positively to the drop in increase of prices. One senior reflected on his past experience with school expenses.
“I remember in my first year, my tuition went up by 20% each semester. None of this ‘reductionist’ bullshit,” added Scott Sterling, a graduating 3+1 MBA student. “My head is absolutely pounding at how low the tuition hike is now.”
A follow-up statement from the Office of Financial Aid revealed a promise for tuition hikes to double based on this semester’s results. It is of utmost importance for the financial aid team to ‘uphold its strong reputation without pissing you off too much.’