Hey bro, did you just bump me? Yeah I’m talking to you. I ain’t talking to the fucking Toad’s bouncer! You think you’re tough or something? I’ll mess you up dude. Bro, I played lax for like 3 years, and we used to lift all the fucking time! Check out these arms! I needed them to be huge because we were always wearing pinnies, bro. Sun’s out, guns out!
So really what do you think you’re gonna do, huh? Hit me? Ha! Funny, dude, bet you didn’t know I have also seen ‘Fight Club’ like twice! You learn shit from that movie. Just ask Greg Fitzpatrick. I beat the shit out of that kid in 8th grade! Oh you don’t believe me, huh? Well then look him up on Facebook man! He goes to Assumption College now, if that helps in your search! You see his profile? He’s a pretty big kid, and I messed him up. Then I got suspended for three days, so as you can see, I don’t care about fucking consequences, man!
And look at you. Bet you like Pokemon, NERD! Like, do you even fucking drink? You couldn’t hit me if you wanted to. I’m too fast—ever seen a cheetah catching its prey? That’s me! Here, check out this YouTube clip of a cheetah chasing after an antelope; it’ll help you better understand my level of speed. You watching?! I’m fast, bro!
Think you’re hot shit because you got your fucking girl with you?! I’ve made love to like two girls in the past four minutes, bro! And I serenaded them with my guitar as I sang “Yellow” by Coldplay. It was fucking angelic! So I’d fuck you up!
Oh wait here’s my squad leaving now! Dude I would have MESSED YOU UP. You’re so lucky I have to Squad Up right now! Would have gone 0-100 on you so fast! Would’ve snuffed you out one punch! Well have a goodnight, and kisses!