During a totally unrelated conversation this past Tuesday with your three roommates, Alex, the creepiest of the three, made it clear that he felt students in the Hufflepuff House of Hogwarts were by far the sexiest.
Although the conversation had nothing to do with sexy humans, or even characters from the Harry Potter series, Alex, your creepiest roommate, still felt it necessary to let you know who it was he thought was most alluring.
“Yeah, there’s just something about the quiet, loyal nature of Hufflepuffs that just really excites me,” said your slightly panting, noticeably turned on roommate, “and Cedric Diggory is just a hunk too.”
Despite the fact that your roommate was announcing his attraction to a dead character played by Robert Pattinson, the never-showered actor who portrayed Cedric Diggory in “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” the creepiest part was that he later went into great detail about the dreams he had of Pomona Sprout, the plump, old Herbology teacher of J.K. Rowling’s fantasy world.
“If I could have one wish it would be to marry Professor Sprout,” he stated, “not Kate Upton or Jennifer Aniston. I want Sprout.”
As of press time you decided it was best to just stop talking to Alex.