While on a historical manuscript investigation last weekend, students Aimee Rogers and Allison Corletto came upon encoded Latin words that revealed the phrases “bursar” and “registrar” to mean “robbed in broad daylight.”
“It was unbelievable,” said Rogers, shivering in her worn, hand-me-down sweater.
“What a great find-and so rare,” added a hungry-looking Corletto.
According to some of the girls’ world history classmates, the words’ meaning was easily cognized in context, as the Latin writings spoke of “impending poverty” and “menacing debt.”
Sources close to the girls who found the writings reported a follow-up inscription that loosely translates to the speaker “feeling violated and bankrupt.”
“I was almost too weak to interpret the documents,” said Corletto, referring to her experiences during the investigation.
“I had just read a lot of deregistration emails at the time of the dig,” she explained after a brief phone call with her bank about student loan paperwork.
The Latin phrases shed light on little-known aspects of Roman lifestyles, with stories about “giving up” and “selling yourself to make ends meet,” a theme that was frequently employed under the title “Bursar ac Registrar.”
Analysts are currently searching the papers for an explanation of “what in God’s name these people found to be worth losing $50,000 on and if they regretted letting their lives fall to pieces at the hands of greedy executives.”
“Where did all the money go? Did the robbers use it up hiring countless outdoor maintenance workers to blow leaves into the sidewalk or did the president of the ancient world earn all that cash? These are the kinds of questions we hope to learn the answer to,” stated one of the examiners as she walked to her work-study job.
Historians plan to hold a conference to mark this important event in time, as these events don’t happen every semester.