Since spring of 2023, Quinnipiac has been hard at work. Constructing a new residence hall and school of business, as a part of our perks. But they made a mistake cutting down the last tree. And soon it was the Lorax they began to see.
“I am the Lorax,” The Lorax said he. “Why are you cutting down all of our trees? Trees are special. Trees are sacred. This construction is all too complicated.”
The Lorax was disgusted by the construction site. Was this the cause of all this blight? All that money wasted destroyed his smile. And he was simply horrified by the detours, making the trip to CAS the distance of a mile.
He gathered all the living things on campus, even the birds, and gave to them these final words: “Let’s make sure our words are heard by our dear Judy Olian. Things are the worst that they’ve ever been. You’ve destroyed all the natural beauty of this campus. This is a worse present than anything given by Krampus. You’ve done all of this, inconvenienced every student. I don’t think that’s very prudent. Sure we have students that need a new place to live. But you destroyed parking spaces for new tennis courts so what gives? And the school of business is good enough. What’s the need for all this new stuff? Judy, I have just one thing to say to you, honey. You really need to stop wasting this university’s money.”
With that, the Lorax had no more things to say. He packed up his things and went on his way. Before doing so, he knelt down and sighed. For he still was in mourning of all the trees that died. When will the construction be finished? Who even knows? The Lorax has taught us what path the university already chose. A path of greed, of needless spending, only serving to make our student loan bills never ending.
And that, dear Barnacle readers, is all that I’ve got. If you think writing an entire rhyming article is easy, I can assure you it’s not.
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