It seems like every professor these days is assigning me group projects. They want me to make a powerpoint or some shit with some assholes I don’t even know. You know what I do? Nothing. I don’t do any work, I just pop on the Xbox and play FIFA.
But really, think about it. There’s no reason not to just play FIFA instead. If you don’t do the work, it will still get done. Hell, even if the other guys in the group decide they’d rather just come over and play FIFA with you, there’s that mousy girl that will do all the work herself. Or maybe that stressed-out smart guy that will do it.
The best part of it is that the people that do all the work themselves won’t even tell the professor. When it comes time to present in my classes, I walk into class to see an awesome powerpoint just waiting for me on the screen. Then I just read off the powerpoint, and bam – at least a B.
We all know that everyone who does work is a moron, and everyone who plays FIFA is a God. I already know everything I need to know to live life after college; I learned it from FIFA. Some guy fucks with you? Slide tackle that bitch. Boss doesn’t like your report? Slide tackle that bitch. Kid’s crying because mommy left? Time out and give him a pep talk.
Next time you get assigned group work, do what I do. Fuck the rest of your group over and play some fake soccer.