A spokesperson today confirmed that private developers have purchased a portion of Sleeping Giant state park with the intent of erecting a tower on the giant’s crotch.
Desperate to balance Connecticut’s budget, the state park service is selling a portion of Sleeping Giant to private developers. The Connecticut Department of Environmental Protection said that the move will bring an influx of much-needed cash to the Connecticut economy, and in turn hopefully make all males in Hamden feel immensely inferior.
The land sits at the top of the mountain – coincidentally on the giant’s crotch area – where a land developer plans to build a tall, cylindrical castle tower. Current construction plans reportedly make the Sleeping Giant appear to have a raging boner.
“I’m disgusted and outraged,” said junior Nick Sczerbinski. “There’s a line that has to be recognized. Destroying the natural skyline of the mountain with that obscene protrusion is offensive and going too far.”
The aptly named Chateau d’Ick is scheduled to be complete by the spring. A spokesperson for Phallic Construction said that crews are working around the clock to erect the structure “in less than 4 hours.”
National and state park sales are becoming more and more common in the United States. Just last month Mount Rushmore sold a portion of the park to a developer who plans to construct eight dome-shaped buildings below the monumental structure, causing the four presidents appear to be flaunting ample bosoms