During a game of “peek-a-boo” gone awry, local 4-year-old, Elliot Simmons, was nowhere to be found by babysitter and self-proclaimed “Samuel Norton of toddlers”, Becky Teasdale.
Teasdale told reporters, “I covered my eyes for a few seconds, so that I would disappear, but when I uncovered them Elliot had disappeared in my place.”
Mystified by the child she, “Babysat for 3 years, and [whom] just never mentioned she could aparate,” Teasdale called police to search for the girl. As part of 9-1-1 protocols, an ambulance, police cruiser, and fire engine arrived on the scene. Police searched the scene for evidence of a break in and also “Floo powder residue” following persistent claims from Teasdale that, “the only possible explanation is some sort of paranormal interference.”
First responders from the local fire station and volunteer EMTs would soon be disappointed to find that they had no work to be done on the scene as no body was found, despite detectives best efforts to find a small lifeless corpse near the house.
One EMT, Terrell Wilkins, stated, “Today was a really slow day, so I was actually hoping for some sort of severe internal bleeding, or organ failure at the very least so that I could kill some time before my shift ended.”
A few hours following the police investigation and missing person’s report Elliot Simmons sauntered out from down below her bed and made her way downstairs to greet her mother, Whitney Simmons, who had just recovered following the grieving process.
Elliott confessed to having mixed up the games “Peek-a-boo” and “Hide-and-go-seek” which caused the affair.
Whitney stated, “It was horrible of Elliot to put us through that type of emotional pain, and seeing as I’ve already prepared for a motherless life, and that my marriage has already fallen apart without Elliot holding David and I together, it only seems natural to give Elliot up for adoption.”
Hearing of Elliot’s adoption, Lieutenant Theodore Griffith, who spearheaded the search for Elliott stated, “It’s a shame what happened. Hundreds if not thousands of taxpayer dollars were wasted searching for Elliot, and her poor, recently single mother was left grieving alone until I comforted her.”
Griffith would go on to explain his disdain for the 4-year-old saying, “I hate her. She hurt my precious Whitney, and frankly, I’m glad that she’s not going to have parents anymore.”
The Simmons’s neighbor, Robert Rime, sympathized with Elliot stating, “I confuse ‘peek-a-boo’ and ‘hide-and-go-seek’ far too often to criticize Elliot for making a mistake. We all are just human after all.”
However, a fellow neighbor of the Simmons, Edith Barinholtz, disputed Rimes claim stating, “That girl is a menace; I pay my taxes for a reason. If the police and Fire Department are forced to take action I expect her lungs to be full of water or some shit.”
We’ve reached out for comments from Elliot, but her foster family was not eligible to sign the disclaimer yet as her legal guardians, so we will provide an update once the paperwork goes through.