Washington State Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers has proposed to solve one of the largest issues the United States government has had in decades: housing inequality. Unrest amongst citizens of the United States has risen as the financial gap between one-percenters and the rest of America continues to grow. To ease tensions amongst citizens Congresswoman Rodgers has proposed a solution that has led to closer examination of the serious inequalities of housing in the United States.
According to sources, Rodgers has offered to house all impoverished citizens in her two-car garage as part of a new bill that will be voted on later this spring. The bill will permit citizens who are down on their luck to use the half of Rodger’s garage that her Nissan Ultima is not parked in, as her ex-husband’s Honda Civic will no longer need the space. Reports also state that while she is at work, the 610,042 current homeless U.S. citizens will be allowed to make their way over to the other side of the garage as long as they cleaned up after themselves before Rodgers and her Nissan Ultima return.
“It’s just so sad to see so many of my fellow Americans struggle to get by,” Rodgers told the press,” and most don’t even have a roof over their heads. These people need a safe space to stay while they try and get back up onto their feet. Sure, I was concerned at first about the proposal, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I can survive without that half of my garage. I guess the five floors of my tax exempt colonial will have to do for me.”
Fellow Washington state congressman Jim McDermott shared Rodger’s enthusiasm for helping the unfortunate. “When Cathy told me that she was going through with the proposal, I was ecstatic,” McDermott said. “I had considered a similar idea, but mine involving a drained public pool, but it would have really done a doozy to the market to have such an eyesore right by all these nice homes. I’m far more pleased with the homeless problem being out of sight in her spacious garage!”
Others of Rodger’s fellow congressman did not share the same enthusiasm for helping the impoverished by letting them reside in Rodger’s garage. Many shared their concerns for where Rodgers would store equipment such as her lawnmower and snow blower. Others reported fears for the property value of Rodger’s homes as she plans to sell and upgrade in the near future.
Minority Leader of the United States House of Representatives and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi also showed signs of concern while telling the audience of her biweekly press conference. “Though Congresswoman Rodger’s proposal is an honorable and valiant one, it is just entirely too unrealistic. It would be nearly impossible for her to get 610,042 past the security of that gated community. And trust me, Rodgers is not that great with navigation, so I have no clue how she expects to give that many people directions when she barely made it to the Republican National Convention last election.”
Eyewitnesses stated that at least five House interns chuckled under their breath following Pelosi’s statement.