To the fetus I absorbed in the womb: wow, I’m sorry it took this long for me to write to you. I’ve been meaning to write this letter for a while, but honestly time got away from me. I’ve just been really busy writing about how white privilege doesn’t exist, why feminism is evil, and how racism is irrelevant because it doesn’t affect me. These are topics I hold dear to my heart, and I’m so glad that I have this platform to express my complete and absolute expertise! The research I’ve done on these complicated issues is extensive, including overhearing my parents talk, reading Buzzfeed articles, and listening to my friends. I am so happy that my educated views on topics that I completely comprehend can be published for the world to think I have some type of authority to speak on them!
Not to get away from the subject at hand, my beloved brother/sister. Fetus, today I am writing about you. Thank you for being with me from the very beginning. You’re my day one friend and you’ve always had my back. Sure, a lot of girls say that they’re close with their besties but how many of them have actually fused organs together? You are my rock, always there for me to lean on, almost like a source of power.
When our mom first told me I was supposed to be a twin, it all made sense. I always felt like there was someone else with me. I told myself that it was probably just my conscience or common sense or something, but I know now that it wasn’t those things at all: it was you, fetus. You’ve been here all along. It’s almost like you’re actually a part of me.
I’m sorry this letter isn’t decorated with hundreds of almost annoyingly relatable gifs. I just really wanted to thank you, fetus. Thank you for always being there for me. Every article I write about is dedicated to you, from passive-aggressively shaming girls who go are happier than me to boys who’ve broken up with me. To my forever friend, my womb warrior to the very end, fetus.