After the People’s Bank was robbed for the second time in a month, bank officials and local robbers have decided to release a calendar that lists the dates of all future robberies.
Despite buying an extra GoPro for a security camera and asking potential robbers “very nicely” not to rob the bank, the People’s Bank has become a favorite target in the robbing community. “We didn’t mean to startle anyone with our little old burglary,” said Daniel Roberts, the spokesperson for the new Bank Robbers Union, Hamden Robbers, referring to the alerts about the robbery that were sent to the entire Quinnipiac community. “That’s why we are teaming up with the People’s Bank, so no one will be surprised when we rob it again!”
Bank manager Richard Taylor was happy when the Hamden Robbers reached out to him. “When we used to get robbed, they would point guns at us and we’d call the police, who would then do nothing. Now when they come in, we have a cup of coffee, give them a sack of cash, and then the police do nothing. It’s a much better system!”
The People’s Bank calendar will feature the exact dates and times of future robberies, and have pictures of the robbers that go with the corresponding month he or she robbed the bank. “I love this new system,” said bank teller Amelia Mathis. “Now I know when to plan my sick days.”
All proceeds from the “People’s Bank Robberies 2016 Calendar,” will go to replenishing the People’s Bank cash supply after each robbery.