In the same study that found John Lahey to be the second-highest paid private university president in the country, sociology professor Randy McClain was revealed to be the 565th highest paid Quinnipiac University employee.
While Lahey, in his 25th year as president, made $3.8 million in 2012, McClain, in his first year of teaching sociology, made $28,000, which takes .72 students paying full tuition to cover the entire cost of his salary.
Vice President for Public Affairs Lynn Bushnell said, “While most of Lahey’s reported income is from his fully covered retirement plan, McClain’s salary will ensure that he will never be able to retire, which is something we’re really quite proud to ensure of virtually all of our professors.”
This study also revealed that professors are the lowest paid group on campus, while the alumni relations staff members were the second highest. “This school isn’t about the books. It’s about the people, like the Chartwells employee who frowns when you don’t include all five food groups in your wrap or the public safety officer who doesn’t believe you go here, despite seeing your QCard. These people are what makes Quinnipiac the perfectly mediocre New England institution that we all know and loathe,” said Bushnell, taking a break from being John Lahey’s mouthpiece.
Despite realizing that there were 564 higher paid employees, including three different part-time Zamboni operators at the TD Bank Sports Center, McClain is happy with his salary. “Listen, if I was looking to make some money, I wouldn’t have gotten into the sociology game,” said McClain. “I teach sociology because I love teaching kids, plain and simple. Unfortunately, they cut three of my classes to pay for John Lahey’s retirement, so I only get to see those faces once a week. But don’t feel bad for me: I still make more money than those FVI teachers. I mean, what the fuck do they do?”
John Lahey couldn’t be reached for comment and was reportedly busy developing new hobbies, fishing, and traveling the world while professors were trying to teach students.