Early Wednesday morning, a supposedly dormant volcano hidden underneath Quinnipiac University’s York Hill campus erupted, drowning the area with molten lava.
“Well that just happened,” President Judy Olian said. “I forgot it was there, Lahey said he boarded up the top of it. Guess Offset really woke the giant, huh?”
The deadly tragedy started at 6:48 a.m. when lava burst through the center of Rocky Top Student Center, quickly flooding the streets and seeping into the dorms. Students frantically tried to escape the buildings, but the lava spread quickly, trapping kids on the top floors.
“I guess your kid’s really On the Rocks now.” Olian reportedly told a grieving mother.
In order to facilitate the first responders, Quinnipiac is asking that all students move their cars to the York Hill parking garage.
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