As many of you already know, The Barnacle remains as one of Quinnipiac’s holiest organizations (we don’t post on Sundays) but we also need to tap into the most successful market on the face of the planet: top ten lists (where else would we get the money for cocaine and our print edition?). So, with results collected at random from all 2 active staff members, here are The Barnacle’s picks for the Top Ten Commandments.
10. Thou Shall Not Steal
Tell that to the $6 million in gold I have buried underneath my house.
9. Thou Shall Not Bear False Witness
But then what am I supposed to say when the cop asks if I knew I was speeding in a school zone?
8. Thou Shall Make No Idols
What about Kelly Clarkson???
7. Thou Shall Have No Other Gods
What about Jung Kook???
6. Thou Shall Not Covet
I honestly just don’t know what this word means, would really love to know the definition.
5. Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery
Bro code (plus she's ugly I don't want her anyways)
4. Rest and Remember God on the Sabbath Day
Sometimes I just need a nap and a bud lite.
3. Thou Shall Not Take the Name of the Lord in Vain
Only putting it this high to not upset deeply religious barnacle readers.
2. Honor Your Father and Mother
My mom reads these and I don’t want her to be mad at me (Hi Maryellen!)
1. Thou Shall Not Murder
Yeah.
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