Over the past few weeks, there have been multiple reports of various insects being found in Quinnipiac cafeteria fruit, and many have been demanding to know the university's plan for dealing with this issue. Well, they got it. Quinnipiac has organized a Pet Adoption night for interested students who want to add a little spice to their dorm room and most likely piss off their roommates while they’re at it.
“It’s so great.” said Freshman Brad Stacey, “I thought I was just getting some delicious Chartwells fruit, but it turns out I made a friend along the way. When I learned that I was able to keep my newly found snail in my dorm, I was ecstatic. Thanks QU!”
Some students are not as ecstatic as Brendan though. Junior Christina Rogers says, “I was going about my business, trying to eat a nice lunch, then next thing I know I have a new financial burden on the household. Do you know how much maggots eat? I can tell you, whatever you’re thinking, it’s more. And it’s mostly feces. My RA is thrilled.”
To no one’s surprise, the Quinnipiac bookstore has attempted to make a quick buck off of the abundance of new companions. They are selling habitats for the creatures, as well as many pet supplies like ant leashes, slug cages and worm toys. All of these products are available for purchase at press time. If you missed the adoption night, head to the dining hall and pick out any piece of fruit, odds are you’ll have a new playmate whether you like it or not.
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