After getting tired of allocating student tuition funds to chop down local forests, Quinnipiac University has decided to integrate a new and improved internship program within the preexisting student organizations.
“When I first heard about the opportunity to teach someone something, I got really excited,” said Neha Seenarine, recent winner of the Student Media Showdown. “But then I meet the dude who’s going to shadow me and all I can think is this kid has never touched grass in his life.”
The new internship program involves up and coming Quinnipiac prospects shadowing students who are engaged in academic prowess. This shadowing program runs for the entirety of February and by the end of the month, the shadowing student will be sent back home.
“I get a little feeling that people’s expectations of me were short-sighted,” said Lester C. Douche, the student shadowing Seenarine.
“That little shit just follows me around wherever I go” said Seenarine. “When I’m at the Chronicle, he just stands there look- ing like he wants to start jerkin his girkin, ya know?”
No Neha, we do not know.
Other students are complaining about this particular person. Citing that he has been a nuisance to the community.
“I heard he tried to do a panty raid in the athletic center” complained one student (we didn’t care to ask his name).
“At this point, if this little ass wipe doesn’t learn to keep his distance, I might be added to the FBI’s most wanted list when I’m done with him,” said Seenarine.
The interview with Barnacle was interrupted by Douche, there was no further comment.
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