STOP COMPARING THIS HOCKEY TEAM TO OLDER, EERILY SIMILAR HOCKEY TEAM
- Alan Johnson
- Sep 21, 2016
- 2 min read
This past weekend, my favorite sports team of all time – the 2015-16 Quinnipiac men’s hockey team – lost the hockey national championship. As their biggest fan, I was extremely disappointed. However, what disappointed me more was the reaction I saw on Twitter after the game.
Tweets like “Quinnipiac lost in the title game, just like in 2013,” and “In 2013, Quinnipiac men’s hockey had a result very similar to this,” or even “Hockey was played tonight and hockey was also played in 2013,” are all despicable and have no place in our discourse. This hockey team was like a snowflake and no other hockey shall be ever invoked!
Unfortunately, in order to refute these vicious comparisons, I must commit a most treasonous act: Compare and contrast hockey teams. I do not enter this verbal dojo lightly – on the contrary, my brain weighs heavily in my skull as I consider embarking on such brave thought gymnastics – yet, if I don’t prove these disrespectful comparisons wrong, who will?
Let’s start with the most obvious fallacy: In 2013, Quinnipiac was the top-seeded hockey team in the country and was blown out by the underdog Yale. In 2016, Quinnipiac was the top-seeded hockey team in the country and was blown out by the underdog North Dakota. I may not be a math major – numbers do lie! – but “North Dakota” is made up of two words, while “Yale” is made up of only one – seems pretty different to me. And that’s not where the dissimilarities end. The 2013 hockey team was led by an excellent goaltender and a dynamic pair of twins, named Connor and Kellen. The 2016 team was led by an excellent goaltender and a dynamic pair of twins, named Connor and Tim. Are my italics not clear enough?
2013 was a long time ago. To put that time gap in perspective, only seven current members of the hockey team – around 20% of the roster – was on that 2013 team. In 2013, Quinnipiac’s head coach was Rand Pecknold, Barack Obama was the President of the United States, and I was an untouched virgin. In 2016, Quinnipiac’s head coach is Rand Pecknold, Barack Obama is the President of the United States, and I’ve kissed three girls.
My point is quite simple: Sportswriters and fans who use the recent history of a team to contextualize what is happening in the present are dangerous buffoons who deserve noting but the utmost scorn. If you’ll excuse me, I have a busy day of editing Michael Garteig’s Wikipedia page to get to.
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